Intimacy Outside the Bedroom


Is it possible?

If I am abstinent, am I incapable of being intimate with my significant other? Of course not.

So, with that being said, how do I become intimate with someone without having sex with them?

I think in order to explore this, I must first answer the question of what intimacy is. I believe intimacy to be the act of building a deeper and stronger connection with another being. With that being said, sex is a great way to become intimate with someone. As a matter of fact, it is the BEST way. Yep. Didn’t expect me to say that huh? But it’s true. Sex is the ultimate act of connecting oneself with another human. You connect physically (of course), you connect emotionally by the chemicals that are released in the brain during the act, and you connect spiritually. That is precisely the reason I am choosing to wait. Sex is too much of a big deal for me to connect that deeply with someone who is not committed to me enough to make a life-long commitment such as marriage.

With that being said, what are my other options? How else am I going to connect with my (future) boyfriend in order for our relationship to progress towards the wedding aisle one day?

By connecting with him mentally; exploring his mind. I must know what excites him, what frustrates him, what makes him happy, and what makes him angry. I want to know his character, all his great attributes and all his flaws. I want to know how he reacts to prosperity in his life and how he copes with poverty when funds are low. I must connect with him. As a person. In essence, I must have sex with his mind. I once heard a speaker say married couples spend most of their lives outside of the bedroom, and it really stuck with me. Yes, I am waiting for marriage to have sex, but that’s not all I’m going to do with my husband. We will pay bills together, raise our children together, experience the tribulations of life together, grow close to God together. We are going to do so much more than just have sex with one another, so I must know him. I must know who he is and if he is someone I could trust to lead my family in the right direction.

So how can I do this?

I guess you must wait until next Sunday to find out….

But in the meantime, please comment with your thoughts about what you believe intimacy to be and share this post with others! πŸ™‚

About Juaquina Carter

Poet | Public Speaker | Photographer For Inquires:
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6 Responses to Intimacy Outside the Bedroom

  1. Exactly. You WILL do everything together. Superb, raw truth in this post. May others follow in your footsteps. ❀️😊

  2. Kristopher says:

    Great read.I think there are plenty of ways to be intimate without having sex. I think just exploring some ones mind can be a intimate thing learning them there likes and dislikes and involving yourself in there favorite recreation. Physical touch such as holding hands in public reading the Bible together praying together are a few thoughts that come to mind . Excellent post keep it up this was awesome.

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