Love is…fragile. It is like an ornament hanging on the thinnest Christmas tree branch, beautiful and bliss-filled, but one false move can send it spirally down to nothing but shattered pieces of worthlessness.
I would definitely refer to myself as a tough person. Growing up in an area of town like I did, it was a requirement to bottle up emotions and put on this mask of hardness for the world to see. When I began dating, I was one of those girls that wouldn’t fully commit whenever I was in a relationship. Although I would always remain faithful to my partner, I would leave my tough exterior up to the point where I was never vulnerable about anything. My longest relationship during my “child’s play” years lasted only three months. I would spend months getting to know the guy, would make it official, and within a couple of weeks, I would either get bored, annoyed with lack of enthusiasm on his part, or I would get cheated on due to my disinterest in being intimate, mentally and physically. Once one relationship was over, I started another fling, which turned into a relationship, which led to a break up and the cycle continued.
But when I encountered love, it was a totally different story. It started out as a simple friendship, sharing inside jokes and giving advice about the opposite sex and next thing I know we are sharing our first kiss on a park bench overlooking the river on a crisp spring night. It was truly magical, the first time I had ever felt butterflies for a man, the first time I had felt completely seized by affection, and the first time I felt comfortable enough to let my guard down for anyone. I told him things I had never even spoken aloud to myself, and in a short amount of time we were intimate with each other, mentally and physically.
I poured every atom of energy I had into making this relationship work, but to make a long story short, it ended like most stories such as this one do: heartbreak. Within two years’ time, I was a walking cliché; I became resentful, depressed, and very pessimistic about my love life. Now, almost an entire year has passed, and even though some of those feelings remain, most have diminished and new insight has been given to me.
Love is actually a live-action paradox. It is one of the most fragile things on this earth, yet is strong enough to break a person who is tough. Love shattered me. It crack the hard armor I had formed in order to shield myself from the world, and it doing so, I was released from my sad solitude. My freedom came from being committed. I was happy, smiling, and laughing like never before. It was beautiful being able to live life to please another person, to make them feel good about themselves and in turn, feeling good about my ability to do so. I felt like the wife God planned for me to be, but the only problem was I wasn’t a wife, and I truly believe that my willingness to do God’s plan before His timing was the reason the relationship failed and I suffered.
After experiencing love, I became soft, but in a good way. I am more open about my feelings in every relationship, whether it is platonic or romantic. I am more sympathetic towards certain situations and I take a more gentle approach in everything I do. I am strong, but I used to think that I needed to have a cold heart in order to be strong. But God knew I needed to be more soft-hearted and, that is what love did to me.
God means for love to be fragile…but strong enough to break the unbreakable. He means for love to be fragile…but strong enough to lift the broken hearted. That is what He wants to happen when love meets the unlovable.
India R. Hunter/ 20/ Dayton,Ohio