What Happened to Dating???

dateThere is this (not so new) phenomena called “chillin'” that I just have a hard time accepting.

Guys and girls no longer go on dates, they chill with one another. And for those who do not know, chillin’ usually involves going over someone’s house late at night when no one else is there to hang out or “watch a movie” (more like let the movie watch you). More often than not this leads to other sexual things they may or may not regret.

Is it just me, or is ‘chillin’ ruining the dating world? I mean, to each his own, but I want to actually be courted. I want to see how creative a guy can be when planning a date for us. I want the excitement of trying to find something cute to wear that night when we go to dinner. I want to feel lucky to be with him, because he reluctantly agreed to see a really girly chick flick with me even though he would rather watch an action movie. I want to have butterflies every time he embraces me in an innocent yet romantic type of way. I don’t want to receive a text late at night asking me if he can come over. I don’t want to go the entire day without speaking to each other, only for him to pick me up that night to go “chill” at his place. I don’t want him to ever think it is okay for him to spend the night in my bed just because it got too late for him to go home. No.

Since chillin has slowly started to replace going out to date, now when ladies tell me about their time spent with a guy they are interested in, they usually hold their heads down and timidly tell me what happened. Instead of them explaining with pride and excitement, I hear more stories about regrets and what they wish they didn’t do. This is very disheartening to me, but not surprising in the least bit. If you use chillin’ as a method to get to know someone, you will probably find sex way before you find love (if you ever find it at all).

To everyone reading this post, practicing abstinence or not, please do not fall for the trap of chillin’. It does not not lay down the foundation for a healthy relationship. It only sets the tone for you to get way too comfortable with one another physically before you are able to connect mentally and spiritually. It is not the seed to grow genuine connections. It is the easy way to spend time with someone you are physically attracted to, but it will not yield the relationship you deserve.

Stop chillin.

If you are going to date…..then date.

About Juaquina Carter

Poet | Public Speaker | Photographer For Inquires: Juaquina.Carter@gmail.com
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5 Responses to What Happened to Dating???

  1. Brenda says:


  2. jmee says:

    You had me at ”There is this (not so new) phenomena called ”chillin” that I just have a hard time accepting”…. very good read. 🙂

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