Two weeks ago I posted about “cracked doors,” because I feel that has been relevant to my life lately. Within the past few weeks several guys I have dated reached out to me to attempt to rekindle an old, dead flame. I had to ask myself why do they all think they can just walk back into my life. I’ve realized they are so comfortable with this, because I am guilty of leaving a few doors cracked in terms of old relationships (and even old friendships) just in case I ever want to turn around and go back.
I tend to leave a small window of opportunity for certain guys to walk into my life when necessary, but this has backfired on me on almost every occasion. I do it for the days/nights I am bored or am feeling down and want to be comforted, but to be honest they are never any help. We always end up talking about their life and I am once again reminded why I stopped talking to them in the first place. I just go through this cycle of disappointment that is very similar to what I went through in the actual relationships.
So, I am making a conscious decision to both shut and lock the doors to all my past dating experiences. Yes, I believe people change, but God will have to really show me if he wants to bring someone old back in the picture. I can’t continue to dabble in the past if I want to move towards the future of my dating life. I am so ready to learn someone new and create fresh memories with them! But I can’t do that with my eyes glued to the review mirror now can I?