In July, I made a conscious decision to get back on the dating scene.
In September, I’m ready to get back on the “single and keeping it that way” scene.
I’m not a very patient woman, so you might be able to say I’m throwing in the towel too soon. I’ve just realized that I wasn’t missing a thing! There has been a lot of texting, flirting, and mixed messages. There has been NO actual courting, real dates, or face-to-face interactions. Either I’m giving attention to the wrong guys, or the dating world is not what it used to be. I have far too much going on in my life to focus on a bunch of meaningless interactions.
Here is one example: This guy approaches me and starts a friendly conversation. He then gives me his number, so now the ball is in my court to show him I am interested in him as well. I am a little hesitant, but after getting up the nerve, I finally contact him. We text. We flirt. He sends mixed messages. He never asks if we could hang out or if he can take me on a date. We just text.
So…eventually, I lost interest.
Here is another, more recent, example: This guy comes into my job all the time. I definitely find him attractive, but I never say anything in order to maintain professionalism at the work place. Then, we start to bump into each other at various events around the city. One night we actually exchange numbers. So, we text. We flirt. He sends mix signals. We never hang out. We never talk on the phone. We never do….anything.
So, I start to think maybe I’m the problem. Then, my brutally honest guy friend sends me this text: “He may have been interested but not enough to pursue more. I wouldn’t worry about it. Men are simple. If they are interested, they go hard (shy or not), especially once numbers are exchanged. The question you should be asking is do you want to be involved with someone that’s not willing to make the effort to show you you’re worth chasing? People pursue what they desire.”
That’s when I realized I had to stop entertaining these guys who clearly cannot see enough in me to actually pursue me. It’s okay. I do not have low self-esteem. No, quite the contrary. I know my worth, and I know I am a queen. I just needed a reminder that queens do not chase guys who don’t see their true value.
I won’t say I’m giving up on the dating scene just yet, but I see no use in texting my life away. I am too old to play games. If you are interested, simply ask me to go on a date, to go for a walk, or to just sit and chat in the park. But we aren’t going to play these silly guessing games, and I am not going to chase you. It’s either fifty/fifty or nothing at all.