The Luxury of Not Knowing

What if we could all get a gimpse into the future?

I wonder what would happen if we could see a preview of who we are meant to be with. Would we still have an interest in our current crushes? Would we give that person a chance even though they aren’t what we thought we wanted? Would we still pursue relationships if we knew they weren’t the person we are meant to share the rest of our lives with? Would we still live totally in every experience that helps mature us just a little more each day?

It would be nice to know who is going to walk into my life and love me for the rest of my life, who will challenge me to do more in every aspect of my life, who will undoubtly make me laugh whenever I find it hard to, and who will light up whenever I walk into the room. Yes, that would be amazing! It would be even better to know when they are going to make their entrance in the doorway of my heart.

But I would rather have the luxury of not knowing. Ignorance (in this case) gives me the freedom of living completely in my right now. I can make mistakes, I can go after the wrong guy, I can be me! I can live and love passionately. This might not sound ideal to you, but I see a beauty in it. Every mistake helps propel me towards loving my husband one day. Every jerk, every heartbreak, it all teaches me something.

If I knew him, if I waited on him, think of all the wonderful opportunities and learning experiences I might miss out on. I don’t want to connect myself to temporary people, but I do want to experience how God wants me grow in wisdom before I can love my husband the way he deserves.

So, I don’t want to know. I have faith he is awesome, but I will live in blissful ignorance and lean on God to guide me in the right direction without being able to see the path.

I choose to wear this blindfold.

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About Juaquina Carter

Poet | Public Speaker | Photographer For Inquires: Juaquina.Carter@gmail.com
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