He called me beautiful.
He called me beautiful like it was my name.
He called me beautiful like it was my name, but he did not know me.
Excuse me sir, I sincerely appreciate the compliment, but I am curious to know what makes me beautiful in your eyes? Is it my loc’d hair? Is it my left dimple? Is it my tall, slender physique? Is it the way I cry when I am angry? Is it because my cooking skills precede me? Is it because I am never afraid to speak my mind? Oh, you don’t know those things about me? I forgot, for a second, you were a complete stranger, because you called me beautiful as if you knew me.
When I was younger, I used to hang on to every compliment I got. I would build up my weak self-esteem on how others felt about me. The problem with that is, people’s feelings change with the seasons. The same person who worships the ground I walk on today might despise and spread lies about me tomorrow. It is all based on how they feel about me in that moment. It wasn’t until I started to grow in God and learned who I was inside of him that my self awareness was built on solid foundation.
So, some men might take it personal when I say a complete stranger calling me beautiful means nothing, but it is only the truth. Someone off the street does not know the layers of growth that make me special. I know who I am and what I am based on what God says.
God called me beautiful because I was fearfully and wonderfully made in his image. God called me beautiful when I was so depressed I couldn’t even find it in myself to wear more than sweat pants and a tee shirt everyday. God called me beautiful when I isolated myself from everyone, including him at times. God called me beautiful when I barely acknowledged Him with my heart, let alone my actions. God called me beautiful then, and He calls me beautiful now. God knows me. He knows I am imperfect and flawed, but He also knows who He created me to be. He knows the good and bad thoughts that freely flow through my mind. God knows me….all of me. And yet, He still chooses to call me beautiful.
You……well you don’t know me that well do you?
You assume I am supposed to hold on to that compliment as if I don’t already know my worth and I am not secure in who I am. You assume I am beautiful but have yet to see me when I am lounging around the house and couldn’t care less about what I look like. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate compliments, but I do not build myself up by them. Your words are nice and are probably coming from a good place, but you aren’t even aware of the person you are calling beautiful.
Your compliment will hold a lot more weight when you see me at a low point or when I am down and you still see the beauty in my life. That is when I will listen.
You want to impress me? Talk about something other than my physical appearance. That will make you stand out from the others who used the same, tired line, “Hello beautiful.” Let’s have a real conversation about what really makes my heart jump and my spirit move. Let’s find some common mental ground and explore what God might have in store for us.
I am beautiful, and so are you. Now, what else do you want to talk about?