There are three important reasons why I chose to be abstinent:
- God: I made the decision to be abstinent primarily because of my religion. Being a Christian means more to me than just a decision to go to church every Sunday. It is about changing my lifestyle more and more each day so that it can reflect the life of Christ. The most important thing that I have learned is that Christ lived his life to please God. Everything he did was an attempt to give God all the glory. Therefore, making the decision to keep sex in the context in which it was made will be just one more thing I can do to please God.
- My Husband: I know that once I meet my husband, he will be everything I always wanted but never deserved in a man. I don’t want to set up our relationship for failure by making a lot of poor decisions now that could negatively affect us later. I have already dated and have emotional scars that he might have to deal with. For example, I have trust issues. I do not trust easily and it is hard for me to let my guard down with anyone. Unfortunately, I know this might affect our relationship in the future if I do not learn how to let my guard down for people who deserve my trust. I do not want to add any more clutter to the baggage that I am carrying around from past experiences. By having sex, I am putting myself in the position of possibly acquiring emotional or physical baggage that I will force my husband into carrying once we get together. He does not deserve that. More important than avoiding baggage is taking good care of his wedding gift. I want my husband to be able to say, “I was my wife’s first and I will be her last.” I feel that is the greatest gift you can give your husband as a wife. Our wedding night will be special, because it will be a symbol of us truly becoming one. He can’t become one with a person who has already given a part of herself away…
- Myself: I love myself too much to take risks with my health or happiness. Having sex with a guy will make me become chemically connected with them because of the release of oxytocin from the brain. Why would I want to build such a strong connection with someone who is only in my life temporarily. Also, I can only loose my virginity once. That is why I look at it as a prized gift. Why would I give away one of my most prized possession to someone who has not earned the right to have it. The only man that will ever earn that right is the man who will promise to spend the rest of his life with me. Waiting for a committed relationship….? There is no stronger commitment than the pledge to spend your life with that person. The final reason is I LOVE my freedom. Sex would create burdens in my life that I am not ready to deal with and leave me chained to the consequences. Worst case scenarios are I could get pregnant or get a disease I can’t get rid of. Talk about stress I don’t need! The only for sure way to safe guard myself from those things is to avoid sex altogether.
These are my reasons, but that does not mean they should be yours. If you are on the fence about whether being abstinent or not is for you, I would encourage you to do your research. Find out the pros and cons from various people, websites, books, etc. and make the best decision for your life. I did my research and prayed a lot before I made my decision and I would encourage you to do the same.